Community Questions (article 5)

Community Questions (article 50)
Self-Talk

Self-talk refers to the ongoing internal conversation we have within ourselves that influences the way we feel and behave. It becomes important to look at our own self-talk if there is something we want to change.

Self-talk can be easily understood in the story of “The little engine that could.” In the story there was a train that was carrying toys up a mountain. On the other side of the mountain were children who anticipated this arrival with great enthusiasm.

The engine of the train broke down. After several rejections from other passing engines to help, the last engine asked initially thought she would not be able to do so. These thoughts came from her interpretation of her history and current status. She became motivated by her desire to help the children and agreed to help. She did not want them to be sad or disappointed.

As this “little engine” tugged the broken engine with cargo, it was her motivation and drive that changed her self-talk to “I think I can…I think I can.” Just by changing her “self-talk” the little engine gained confidence, energy and strength; completing a task she previously thought unattainable. She now “knew she could.” A sequel to this story could reference her growth and development and reaching potentials she never thought possible simply by changing her “self-talk”.

A man shared his “self-talk” experience which was triggered whenever a traffic light turned from green to yellow. He told himself to accelerate on the gas instead of stopping. One day he accelerated and unfortunately engaged in a car accident.

The consequences of his actions included causing injuries to the other involved party that may have been fatal. He totaled his only means of transportation, lost his job, couldn’t pay his fines or previous legal obligations, was sentenced to jail and lost his relationship with his girlfriend.

He realized that his own inner conversation was a problem so he simply changed it. When the signal now turns yellow he slows down and stops when he can. He explored how his life could be different if he only realized the consequences of such behavior sooner.

If his “self-talk” instructed him to step on the brake instead of the accelerator, there would not have been an accident. There would not be any injuries or fatalities. He would have transportation, still be employed, would have maintained his previous financial obligations, not have outstanding fines, would not have been arrested and serving time in jail and would still be in a developing relationship.

It is up to the reader to reflect upon their own “self-talk” to see if it negatively impacts their life. If it does, and the motivation is there to change then know that we are all capable of learning and therefore changing.

We were once infants and toddlers. We did not know how to sit, stand, crawl, walk, talk or even feed ourselves. If free from debilitating disease or injury, we do these tasks today without even thinking about it. We grew and learned through determination and practice.

For those of us with true motivation, when we saw that cookie on the counter we learned how to climb. If we did not get caught we enjoyed that cookie and were very happy. Nobody had to show us how to climb. It was our own motivation that helped us find a way. With motivation we are capable of finding a way to change, and changing our own “self-talk” can be very effective.